Happy Anniversary Jerry

May 19, 1990

.

Five weeks is too little

We let him go

We had no sudden healing

To think that providence

Would take a husband from his wife

While she prays, is appalling

Who told us we'd be rescued

What has changed and

Why should we be saved from nightmares

We're asking why this happens to us

Who have died to live, it's unfair

.

This is what it means to be held

How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life

And you survive

This is what it is to be loved and to know

That the promise was when everything fell

We'd be held

.

This hand is bitterness

We want to taste it and

Let the hatred numb our sorrows

The wise hand opens slowly

To lilies of the valley and tomorrow

.

This is what it means to be held

How it feels, when the sacred is torn from your life

And you survive

This is what it is to be loved and to know

That the promise was when everything fell

We'd be held

.

If hope is born of suffering

If this is only the beginning

Can we not wait, for one hour

Watching for our savior

.

This is what it means to be held

How is feels, when the sacred is torn from your life

And you survive

This is what it is to be loved and to know

That the promise was when everything fell

We'd be held

.

This is a song called "Held" by Natalie Grant that has spoken to me since Jerry's death. I changed a few words in the beginning to fit my particular situation. It is a powerful song of God's love holding us and sustaining us through unspeakable pain. God never promised that we'll be saved from the nightmares of this life, but He does promise that when everything falls He'll be there to hold us.

.

This is a particularly hard day, but I'm anxiously awaiting our reunion Jerry!

Happy 19th Anniversary

I love You,

Candy

Watching the Fires

I thought I would share some pictures with you of the fires that began to move in our direction Thursday evening. These were taken as we stood outside in front of our homes.





































This is me and the neighbors as we watch the scene unfold. My back is to you. Deedee is on the left and I am beside her on the right in the white shorts. As you can see the smoke began to become very thick and dark.

Candy

We Are Home!

Dear Friends and Family,

We were given the OK to return home today. It's Saturday afternoon and the kids and I have just arrived back to our home sweet home! Thank you to everyone for your concern and the many prayers of safety that were said for us. I know God was with us and gave me such a peace and a calmness during the whole evacuation process as I proceeded through with the details without Jerry here to lead and guide me along. We miss our Jerry, the leader of our home and family who provided us with such a sense of protection and security. I thank God too for our dear neighbors who made sure we were taken care of and provided for; for our dear church families who were ever so gracious and loving and allowed us, along with several others, to crash at their homes at 2:00 am the morning we were told to leave our house; and for the many local friends who called to make sure we had gotten out OK and offered up their homes as well for us to stay at. We love each of you and thank you for loving us and taking such good care of us. We are grateful, and I know Jerry looks down with such pride knowing that there are so many of you who meet our needs in his absence, and who love us so.

Love,

Candy, Natalie and Joshua

Santa Barbara Fires

Dear Friends,

We're receiving lots of worried phone calls and text messages so I thought I'd post to the blog and give an update.  We were evacuated from our home at 2:00 am this morning.  We are safe and left with our neighbors and are staying at the home of other families from church.  The wind reversed directions last night and carried fire toward the area where we live.  We are not worried about our home, but were evacuated due to the smoke and ash and then just the unpredictability of the winds.  I'll try to keep everyone posted.  We love you.

Candy, Natalie and Joshua